What if . . .

Everyone who read my blog sent one dollar to my email via paypal? 

Unfortunately I would have no dollars unless I sent myself one because I am the only one that ever reads my blogs. 

Occasionally I impose myself on my friends and family, but that’s about it. But the reason that I keep writing is that the words keep coming and expressing myself, well its just what I do.  Sometimes it’s to my detriment, and sometimes it works out well.  But in every situation, after I’ve written something, I always hope for the best.

Publisher’s Clearing House, for example.  They send me an entry slip every day and I fill it out every day.  They send me one by snail mail and I fill it out and put a stamp on it and mail it out.  I have the passion to be a winner. 

I am so open to getting there.  And it’s not like I’m lazy.  My husband is a firefighter and I have two grown children and I am in a battle to adopt my nephew that I’ve raised since birth.  I plan to take my GRE early next year and slip into the master’s track for web design. I take care of a house and a husband and a two year and nine month old little boy.  I’m also tackling the adobe “Classroom in a book series.”  We are going to be building a house in 18 mths as my husband will be retiring from the department.  So I guess we are pretty much your average family.  I was a school teacher, but I broke my back in a car accident and then my son came along and so now I do what I love.  I write and I learn and I create.  These are my outlets.

Because I am creative my imagination wishes always on the best side of outcomes.  So sometimes when I am on break from reality I sit back and wonder what it would be like if somehow the world saw my blog and everyone decided to send me a dollar.  The first thing I think of is the expression on my husband’s face.  My husband is such a kind man who opened up a paintball store six years ago because he loves the sport and the people that play it.  It’s never made money and in fact, in these tough times, he grits his teeth and just hopes to make the money to pay the overhead.  His father is retired from the department and it is a place for him to go and fix guns and just spend his day with his son.  Jess, my husband’s best friend is pysically disabled and it is also the place he comes to every day to work.  He is passionate about what he does and it is a therapy in his life that helps to keep him sane.  Although the store is not a money maker, every once in a while everyone gets a lift when people like Sean Payton come in to shop.  So I imagine the expression of wonderment and it makes the dream worthwhile.

What would I do with the money?  That is an excellent question, one that I love dreaming about.  First of all, I would set aside what I would owe the government, because you don’t want to fall into the trap of not giving them their due.  Maybe that’s why Jesus said, “Render unto Cesar what is Cesar’s,” because if you don’t have to worry about that, then life is a lot more pleasant.  And you know what?  There is a pride in knowing that you are a part of the streets being improved and the general upkeep and evolution of your civilization.  

Then I would figure out how much it is going to cost me to send my son to school through college and I would put it in an account with a high interest yield and that money would be soley for his education.  That is first and most important.  My other blogs detail the problems he has faced because his biological mother smoked meth until she was five and a half months pregnant and jailed.  My goal and my husbands as well,  is to help him to reach his potential and to become a person of greatness.   He’s a great little guy and he deserves every chance.

Then I would buy a crossover.  I have an Altima right now and I was all about a Mustang convertible when my husband retired, but our child changed everything.  Now I want a vehicle that is both energy efficient, but has enough room for all of the sports he will play and all of the vacations we will take with him.  We have been making it a point to take him to Orange Beach every year and he has loved it, but we have bigger plans for when he is older.  We would like to take him to Disney World and maybe even on a Disney Cruise.  How cool would that be? 

My hubby comes out of the drop in a year and a half and we are planning to build a house.  We have been looking at house plans for months now and we even bought a program that helps you to create your dream home.  We discovered that we don’t know thing one about how to place rooms in a house, so the program, although inventive, in our case, doesn’t really work.  So I would hire someone that could sit down with us and draw out a set of plans that made our house the home we envision.  And then I would hire someone to build it. 

My house does not have to be a Beverly Hills special, it just has to be durable. It has to let in the sunshine, but keep the bugs out.  I watch the “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” because it is interesting, and I really like most of the women on the show, but I have to say that when Theresa built her house, which must have cost millions of dollars, that it was way over the top.  She seems like a really nice person, but marble floors?   It looks like a wedding hall that I would not have enough money to rent for my daughter.  I’m not jealous at all, I just think that I could build a nice home for about 300,00.00 and put the rest into things that better benefit my family and my friends.  Her poor husband recently took her checkbook away from her and he looks so stressed out all the time.  He loves her so desperately, it looks like and doesn’t want to tell her no and I think he probably battles with having that come into our living rooms every week.  I feel for both of them…And I digress….

I basically want a house that has a playroom/study for Sam that he can grow up with.  I would like to have a sunroom to do my sewing and arts and crafts.  Hubby and I both want an office where we can work.  We want an open floorplan with a wrap around kitchen island/bar (granite counters) and a nice sized family room.  Definately an upstairs and a downstairs to keep the legs in shape.  The master bedroom would be our haven so it would have to be big enough to move around in and a bathroom that has a  tub with jets and a shower with stone tile and a seat.  A screened in porch would be awesome and something the cats would definately find appealing for those sunny days, but something we could also use when the rain kept us in.  There would have to be a dining room of course for when the kids came on the holidays.  That’s the plan anyway…

Of course we would finish paying the bank loan on my husband’s store.  And I would pay for a television commercial so that he could get new business.  He sells paintball and airsoft merchandise and its something that would eventually get handed down to our children to continue. 

I would get my master’s in web design and create wonderfully asthetic sites for clients that were easily workable for their clients.  I would be doing what I love and so hopefully everyone would love what I’m doing.

Of course I would give back to my community as well.  There are so many options when it comes to being supportive to those in need.  I think its also important to address those folks who really need  help but don’t want to ask for it.  I would like to be a creative support in dealing with ways to help and yets still make people feel productive and happy. 

There is so much negativity in the world that I would love to be a part of bringing hope back and helping people to realize that it is okay to be happy.

So, it is fun to dream. Hubby buys the lottery tickets once a week and I follow my reminders for the PCH every day.  I think I actually bought a book from them about a year ago, but I wonder if most people think like me, that if I win, I would actually be able to purchase something from them:)  But at any rate, with or without money, we’ll get by and we are grateful for everything that we have.  There is air to breathe and the beauty of nature. We have food to eat and people that we love right beside us, helping us to get through the rough spots.  Life is good because we expect it to be, because we appreciate everything that we have and are thankful for all of the love this world has to give.  It is an awesome world and an awesome life, because I can hear the laughter in my son’s voice, and because I have the opportunity to share what I have with you.

In the end,if my dream came true and you somehow had access to this blog and said, “This piece was entertaining enough to pay a dollar for,” I would probably freak out and be eternally grateful.  But after I picked myself off of the floor I think that the thing that would really stay with me is the fact that I reached so many people and that maybe you don’t have to be mainly anonymous your whole life.  Maybe sometimes, on an odd Saturday, fate  can give you the voice to be heard.

Have a great life, and remember, we all have the potential for greatness, and the potential for gratefulness….

P.S. senneca@charter.net

Hey, a shot in the dark is better than no shot at all….:)


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