Finding the Upside or You’re Standing on My Stressors: Get Off!

So, as you know, there is a lot of stress going on in my life right now and the same stuff seems to keep following me around where ever I go.  My son will be three in a couple of months. My husband and I have raised him since birth without aid or child support from his biological mother.  She has not seen him since he was one years old and has never made any attempt to try, but if it stresses us all out, she will fight to keep her rights from being terminated.  So waiting on our lawyer for a court date in which bio mom will make a phone appearance is driving us insane because of all of the hoops you have to jump through and all the red tape.  We are trying to get this done before she gets out of jail in January so that she won’t vanish again.

And I’m still trying to move on from being lied to about my kitten and the whole shut down thing that makes it impossible to show my cat.  It was an outlet to relieve stress.  I don’t know how people can be like that.  But I mention it today because of the main point I’m going to make after I describe the next stressor.

I checked my email last night thinking it would be pretty clear as the kitten debaucle was now old news and there really wasn’t much else as the lawyer telephones and doesn’t email.  Well, imagine my suprise when I find chain email from my father..If you’ve been following, you know that after trying for two years to make peace with him, I sent him a father’s day present which he out and out rejected.   When I asked him why he told me my mother denounced me on her deathbed and the both of them felt as if I had verbally abused them for years.  The verbal abuse my father claims occured when my father began to abuse my children as he had abused me as a child and I stood up for them and put an end to it.  One particular incident was when my father was babysitting and locked my young son out of the house because he kept coming in and out.  When I went to pick my children up, my son was sitting outside and had been for about 45 minutes. In tears he ran to me and that marked the day that my son  formed the opinion that he has of my father to this day(He is now 26 years of age).  Now today because my father needed seven people to make his chain letter work, so that at 11:32 that evening something good would happen to him (as if), he sends me a copy of the email.  Does he understand how hurtful that is?

Why do these people do what they do?  Bio-mom actually decided to use my father’s abuse against me and when we tried to reach her about adopting our son, she texted that she understood why my father hated me.  The breeder that sold me the kitten called me a liar and labeled me with mental issues even though I had never seen fit to attack her personally.  I had never attacked any of them personally and yet in order to control me and put me “in my place,” they felt the need to do these things.

But, today I turned a corner.  See, I know what will happen if I address my father’s chain letter.  The same thing that always happens. He gets me locked up into the same old cycle and lines up his punch and lets it rip, right into my gut.  In realizing that the best course of action is just to journal it and move on, I break that chain.  I take back my life and I move on.  I essentially tell negativity to take a hike, that I’m not opting in this time.  It’s time for positivity to be the rule in this house, and for it to be so strong that when adversity rears its ugly head, we are secure in the knowledge that we can send it packing.

Thanks for listening today and I hope you are enjoying the rain. I leave you with an old song I used to love to sing as a child.  It’s as true today as it was then.  Find the positivity, the upside, the lesson in everything and you will become stronger as you traverse the road ahead…

Without Clouds

without clouds the rain can’t wash the land
without rain the grass won’t hide the sand
without grass the flower’s bloom won’t grow
without pain the joy in life won’t show

never saw a sunrise that didn’t fall at night
hardly saw it shining
’till a shadow blocked its light
never took a journey
and not left some place behind
nor felt some anguish
before some peace of mind

without clouds the rain can’t wash the land
without rain the grass won’t hide the sand
without grass the flower’s bloom won’t grow
without pain the joy in life won’t show

there’s one who knew our pain
there’s one who felt our loss
and yet he knew
a lot that went beyond the cause
he dared to lose it all to trust the Father’s care
and God restored his life
and conquered death’s despair

without clouds the rain can’t wash the land
without rain the grass won’t hide the sand
without grass the flower’s bloom won’t grow
without pain the joy in life won’t show

Songs of the Hermits.
P.S. Listening is understanding with the heart:)
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